I've Been Indisposed, But I'm Back

Just a quick blog to explain to my many, many followers (all four of you, I believe) as to what has been going on. I realize I was in the middle of a 5 part series about movies I would like to be left alone and then I stopped at part three. Well, I had to undergo surgery on my right hand and so that incapacitated me for the past 6 weeks. Before the surgery, however, I was experiencing pain the prevented me from typing, as well as playing video games (NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!), but i am happy to announce that this week I will be returning to my blog and will begin by finishing the last two parts of my series. Keep a watchful eye out for part four near the end of this week, and have a great week.

25 Movies That Do Not Need A Hollywood Remake: Part 3

    As research continues for this list, I keep finding more and more remakes that are in the works, and some of them have my stomach turning.  Why would you need a remake of "The Warriors"?  Is there that much lack of creativity for the writers these days, or is it the studios just looking to bleed more money from us?  My guess is the latter of the two.  It would be so much easier to dump a boat load of money into a project you know was successful one time around than to take a chance on something new and fresh.  I'm loving the independent movies more and more.  Even some of the "spoof" trailers coming out on You Tube these days look more interesting than the remakes of movies I already loved once.
    So without ranting any more than I have been, I'll get to this weeks five.  Enjoy.

#11:  "It's A Wonderful Life"                               Released in theaters January 7, 1947

    Story driven, plain and simple.  I could go on and on about the acting, directing, and set design (the town is a place I wish still existed in modern day America).  I, however, will focus on what I loved about this movie, and why it made the list.
    It's a classic in every meaning of the term "classic".  Actor James Stewart and director Frank Capra were no strangers working together.  They had worked together in 1939 on another classic, "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington".  The chemistry between director and actor was alive and well, and that became apparent in how well crafted this movie was.
    Second, the story captivated the audience throughout, following the impact that one man had not just on those immediately around him, but practically his entire town.  It was heartwarming, from start to finish.  While Hollywood has the ability to tug at the heart strings, it is not something that happens too often these days.  Remaking this would have me asking  my guardian angel to let me jump, thus ruining his chances of ever getting his wings.

#12: "Blade Runner"                                         Released in theaters June 25, 1982

    This met negative criticism from both fans and critics alike, but in recent years has garnered a cult following.  The reason for this is that it may have come a bit prematurely, maybe a little before it's time.  With the movie following the release of Lucas' Star Wars and Harrison Ford portraying Han Solo in, maybe the expectations were for a similar character to be in Blade Runner.  Plus, the edited ending that was originally shown to audiences didn't reveal if Ford was or wasn't a Droid.  
    To me, re-releasing the Director's Cut was the extent of a "remake" for this.  Ridley Scott is a fantastic story teller and his directing skills are well above average, so needing to see this with updated tech would be a slap in the face to anyone originally involved in the first iteration.  It may also be a kick to the chicklets to those who have always followed and loved it.  Just please take into consideration that it now has a fan base, and that should be a good indication to leave well enough alone.




#13:  "Deliverance"                                           Released in theaters July 30, 1972

    Filming this movie revealed some beautiful scenery of the American wilderness.  It was also the first movie to unknowingly coin the phrase "Brokeback Mountain".  
    With a stellar lead man in Jon Voight, and a supporting cast that included Ned Beatty and Burt Reynolds, this was a formula for success.  It was adventurous and suspenseful in every way imaginable.  The camaraderie between these friends looking for a trip up a river before it was turned into a man made lake was quickly developed after encountering horny moonshine runners from the mountains.  A remake of this movie, I fear, would try to make it something it's not: an action packed movie between mountain men and a band of Iraqi War Veterans.  Plus who else other than Ned Beatty would see the script and say,"Oh, I get to squeal like a pig while some crazed man sodomizes me?  I was MADE for this part!"?

#14:  "The Shawshank Redemption"               Released in theaters October 14, 1994

    Don't read too deep into the fact that this makes the second movie on this list in which a man is sodomized.  I can't help it that these two movies were amazing and involved a little man on man rape.  
    I was a fan of the short story by Stephen King before seeing this, and honestly, Frank Darabont did a great job delivering a close rendition of the book.  Five years later he went on to do another prison movie by Stephen King, "The Green Mile" and nailed that one, too.  So, he proved that, as a director, he can helm a movie based off of books by Mr. King with the setting taking place in a prison.
    Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman are no strangers to acting, and they performed quite harmoniously with one another.  We knew Andy was innocent, we knew Red was guilty, but you still felt neither of these men belonged there without the other.  They had great chemistry, and the end scene with the embrace by two friends was my defining moment to include this on the list.

#15:  "A Christmas Story"                               Released in theaters November 18, 1983

    With more memorable moments contained within than our wonderful Vice President has graced us with in the past three and a half years, this movie has no reason to even be considered for a remake.  The focus was on young Ralphie and his desire to acquire an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model BB rifle with a compass in the stock, and this was by far the least entertaining attribute to the film.  
    Ralphie's quest to convince anyone from his mom to old St. Nick himself that he was responsible enough to posses such sophistication in the form of an air gun was funny enough, but the narrative and supporting cast was hilarious in their own ways, as well.  The segways were memorable, from Ralphie becoming blind based on his having to ingest a bar of soap to his assignment from Ms. Shields resulting in him being thrown on the shoulders of his classmates for such a phenomenal piece of literature, were on par with some of the funniest moments in cinematic history.
    Why touch this?  Was it not funny the first time around?  I beg to differ, as seeing this remake could definitely cause any red-blooded American movie-goer to wish for their eye to be shot out.  That is unless, of course, you win an exquisite lamp that has some Italian word pronounced "fra-jee-lay" on the package it arrives in.  Then, the use of both eyes would be mandatory for the rest of your days.

25 Movies That Do Not Need A Hollywood Remake: Part 2

    When I began this series, I didn't realize the extent of the journey I would be taking.  You would think a list comprised of 25 movies that Hollywood shouldn't touch would be simple, but as I continue researching these films, I am finding that this list, by the end, could have a lot more than just 25 movies on it.  I would like to remind the reader that this is just my opinion and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the majority of movie goers.  If you see one I have not included on here that you feel should be included, don't take offense.  We know that opinions differ from one individual to another.  You may e-mail me with some that you would like included and I will be more than happy to continue on after my 25 are done.  So, once again, thanks for reading and I hope this week's will be just as enjoyable for you to read about as it has been for me in researching them.

#6: "The Princess Bride"                                Released in theaters September 25, 1987

    With a script that was as witty and well-written as the actors delivering said script, this had to be included.  In a world of swash-bucklers, secret romance, and giants, this was enjoyable for anyone of any age group.  The narrative being done by the late, and great, Peter Falk, made us feel as if we were Fred Savage sitting in bed hearing this story ourselves.  
    There was no need to include special effects rendered by computer imaging as the director, Rob Reiner, was able to make each moment magical using real world scenery.  The cast included, but was not limited to, Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, and the late Andre the Giant, with each one of them shining in their own way.  Round it out with appearances by the very funny Billy Crystal and equally funny (if not funnier) Carol Kane, and the recipe was sweeter than grandma's chocolate chip cookies.
    A remake of this film could have me begging for a glass of Westley's wine, not caring if the one I was drinking was poisoned.  In fact, I'd just shoot both of them down the hatch to be on the safe side.

#7:  "Gone With The Wind"            Released in theaters January 17, 1940

    The set designs, location shooting, costume design, and script could not be done in a more splendid fashion than the entire cast and crew did with this classic.  
    For a history fanatic, the ability to criticize even the tiniest of details is near impossible.  The cast fantastically drew in the audience to a well crafted, and sometimes comical, script.  To make a movie capturing the moments of the civil war is not impossible, as many witnessed with "Cold Mountain.". However, one would wonder how many movie goers from current generations would applaud a movie like this?  Frankly my dear, I don't think many would give a damn.  That, in a sense, is just sad, too.  This movie should be shown in American History classes at the high school level for it's periodic accuracies.  Plus, it may just teach some of our youth to appreciate what they haven't had to work for.  Eh, maybe that's a bit of a stretch.  One can wish.



#8:  "The Dark Crystal"            Released in theaters December 17, 1982

    What Jim Henson showed us with this was that movies with Muppet's didn't always have to be bright and shiny with rainbows and sunshine.  No, this movie had one word in it's title to let the viewer know what to expect from it: It was a dark journey.
    The set director, Peter Young, showed us that his abilities weren't some fluke, as he had a hand in the 1989 Tim Burton vision of "Batman" starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson and even more recent with "Troy (2004)."  
    Even though we were witnessing puppets acting out this beautiful story, the environments were done in a manner that made them believable, all made with sweat and imagination.  When someone can craft a world using a computer, it's amazing.  When someone does it using manual labor, and carpentry skills, that is a whole  level of craftsmanship that sometimes seems to be a dying art form these days.  

#9:  "True Romance"                Released in theaters September 10, 1993

    When you see that Quentin Tarantino scripted a movie, you know you are in for a wild ride.  When you see that Dennis Hopper, Christopher Walken, and Gary Oldman (just to name a few from this absolutely stellar cast) are in said movie based on a Tarantino screenplay, prepare for sensory overload to the nth degree.
    Finding the love of your life is awesome, especially when she's a prostitute.  Upon retrieving her belongings from her pimp, you kill said pimp and take a suitcase supposedly containing her belongings.  In the confusion of shooting up the pimp and his bodyguard, you are instead given a suitcase containing a boat-load of mob owned cocaine.  
    Of course, the mob is not going to just chalk that up as a wedding gift to the newlyweds, so expect someone to be hunting you down.  If there's one thing we have all learned from mob movies, when they do catch up with you, they do not kindly ask for it back and write it up as a mulligan.  So, you try to do what any rational person in this type of predicament would do: Call your good friend Michael Rapaport to see if he can help you unload it for a real good price.  Don't forget though, a "Part Eggplant Mob Guy" is still looking for you (by far, one of the best monologues in a movie EVER).
    If new generations haven't seen this film, instead of remaking it, do a 20th Anniversary Re-Release in theaters, followed by a super-stellar Blu-Ray release in stores.  That would make more sense to me than trying to "fine-tune" details.  This was well-crafted, well-acted, and just plain fun the first time around.

#10:  "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"    Released in theaters November 21, 1975

    When preparing for this movie, all of the actors spent one day in a mental facility as a means of research.  That is, everyone except Jack Nicholson, who went on to win Best Actor for his portrayal of Randall Patrick McMurphy.  On top of this fun fact, the movie was actually filmed in the Oregon State Hospital, creating an environment depicting the feel of an actual mental hospital.
    Storytelling is an art form and this movie was lacking nothing of the sorts.  The cast played well into one another's characters and created a linear story meshing the differing psychological issues each one posessed.  I felt that it was not actors and actresses telling a story, but rather a documentary outlining the daily goings on at a state run mental facility.  
    Redoing this film could only be done if the new cast and crew followed the book by Ken Kesey a little bit more true to his original writing.  This would make the Indian chief the center character, and while that could be enjoyable, it may lose the essence the first film delivered.  That type of change could have some fans of this film volunteering for the same labotomy Mr. Randall McMurphy received for his rebellious attitude towards the infamous Nurse Ratchett.

New details for "The Last of Us"

      The Last of Us is a game that I am really looking forward to.  The post apocalyptic story driven game from naughty Dog looks pretty solid at this point.   In an interview with Gamer Examiner, Creative Director Neil Druckmann and Game Director Buce Straley provided some further details into what to expect in the game. If you are familiar with their previous work on the uncharted Series it will come as no surprise that story will take center stage and will sure to keep you interested till the end. That being said,  multiplayer will be a welcomed addition to the game as was revealed in the article.  While this game seems well suited for co-op it will not be included.  They are not talking about what they have planned at this time so no modes have been confirmed as of yet.  This is not the first game to have multiplayer form Naughty Dog.  Uncharted 2 was the studios first foray into multiplayer, and while there was skepticism at the time it proved to be a solid addition that didn't take anything away from the single player experience.  For further details read the entire article at: http://www.gamingexaminer.com/

25 Movies That Do Not Need A Hollywood Remake: Part 1

   The "Reboot," or "Reimagined" films seem to be making their way into our theaters on a more frequent basis these days.  I am usually weary about seeing them, especially when I feel I have already payed money to see them once.  If a movie was done right the first time, why is there a sudden need to update it?  Movie goers typically want a fresh experience, and while we have new generations to show these films to, as well as a plethora of technological advances, doesn't this seem to kill the credibility of Hollywood screenwriters in their creativeness?

    Being completely against remaking a film is not my emphatic position on the subject matter.  I think we live in an age of very talented actors, directors, screenwriters, and such.  I have not seen a remake that I thouroughly enjoyed recently, but I am also not so close minded to put the idea away all together.  In the day and age we live in, one can't expect everything to be fresh and new.  Sometimes a remake is a necessity.  It allows the original creator to bring their idea to life in a manner that maybe they couldn't do before.  However, I have compiled a list of the 25 movies I wish Hollywood to wait until after I die to "re-imagine."  This will be broke down into a five part segment.  I have arranged them in no particular order, except for #1.  That, to me, is absolutely HANDS-OFF!!!

#1:  "A Clockwork Orange"            Released in theaters February 2nd, 1972

    I am a fan of Kubrick, but this is by far my favorite movie he did.  In fact, I may be so bold to call this my Number One Movie of ALL Time.  Maybe that makes me biased in calling this off limits.

    Beethoven, psychedelic milk, betrayal, prison, and revenge sum up this masterpiece.  The script was fantastically written by Kubrick himself.  While fans of the book, which was authored by Anthony Burgess, cried foul (as if any book to movie captures the authors descriptiveness to begin with), Kubrick did a great job.

    I can't see too many actors capturing the vibe that Malcolm McDowell did.  His supporting cast were equally stellar.  While the era it was set in was a future from 1972, you still can watch it today and see inspirations from a period when disco and cocaine was the rave.  Plus, David Prose was in it.  To geeks like me, the question would remain: How do you replace the guy, even as a minor character, who later went on to play Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies? I mean, seriously.   

#2:  "Gremlins"                              Released in theaters June 8, 1984

    So, you want to get your kid something special and original for Christmas.  Why not get him a Mogwi?  Sure, the    mysterious Chinese man said it wasn't for sale, but what does he know?      You have the best kid in the world and he'll be totally responsible with it. After all, he DOES have a dog.

    Chris Columbus is a great storyteller, with titles like "The Goonies" and "Only the Lonely" in his reportoire.  Joe Dante was no slouch in the directing department, as he showed us with "The Howling (1981)" and later "Innerspace (1987)."  They took a premise from pilots of WWII and made them not the scary monsters imagined by many fly-boys, but a mischevious and comical bunch who did nothing but make you laugh and feel sorry for a small town at the same time.  

    Now granted, the technology at the film makers disposal in 1983 was nothing by comparison to today's standards. Seeing this with updated tech would be cool, but there is, I fear, the element of storytelling where this movie would lack.  That is not a slam on current writers, but the fact remains, the original had such fine tuning to everything that adding something or taking something out just wouldn't serve this gem of a movie justice.

#3:  "Close Encounters of the 3d Kind"    Released in theaters November 16, 1977

    Usually movies involving someone who sees a spaceship paints the picture of them being some crazed redneck with a fear of being probed, or a cry for help from a rape hotline because said probing occurred.  That wasn't the case for good ole' Roy Neary, played by Mr. Holland (Richard Dreyfuss for those who don't get references to other movies).  Nope, this guy gets buzzed by a UFO while witnessing railroad crossing signals going haywire and does what any rational human being in the same predicament would do: he sculpts mashed potatoes into a familiar shape.

    Look, this is Steven Spielberg, as both writer and director, and that guy knows how to tell a story and convey said story onto the screen.  Argue with me all you want on his greatness, because you are entitled to your own dumb opinion (sorry, I don't think you're dumb).  The visuals, even for the time period, were breathtaking.  As a kid, the scene where the young Neary boy is in the front door and it flies open showing a multitude of flashing lights was just freaky, in a fantastic sort of way.  Capturing moments like that again using updated technology would require less creativity, I believe, as a computer could do it for you.  So that's why I want this to remain untouched.

#4:  "The Goonies"                Released in theaters June 17, 1985

    "Heeeeeey yooooooou guuuuuuys, don't remake this movie!"  From the Fratelli's to Data demonstrating the language barrier between the west and the east, to even the beloved bond formed between Chunk and Sloth, this was a story where characters were absolutely lovable and the adventure was one that we all desired to be a part of.  I have some great childhood memories involving my friends and I acting like we found a map and were searching for the treasure of One-Eyed-Willie.  

    Trying to revamp this movie into something more modern would serve no justice to it, as there is no need for updated visuals, and the actors did a stand alone portrayal of each character.  Movies involving kids searching for a way to save their beloved neighborhood from a group of elites trying who were trying to build a golf course is only setting us up for a political statement against the 1%ers.  You would lose what it was originally meant to be: an adventure that no matter how much time passes by is still just as exhilirating as the first time you saw it almost 30 years ago.

#5:  "Tombstone"                Released in theaters December 25, 1993

    One of the most well-known names in gunslinger history is the center of this movie.  Cowboys are a gang rather than a way of life, and if you don't have a gun on your hip, you might as well talk to the local mortician to arrange your funeral.

    No one, and I mean no one, can bring acting to the table like this star-studded cast did.  Kurt Russell IS Wyatt Earp,and what better picks to portray his brothers than Bill Paxton and Sam Elliott?  You wrap that up with a performance of a lifetime by Val Kilmer playing "Doc" Holiday and it's a recipe for a success in the western genre.

    Famous lines like "You gonna skin that smoke-wagon, or are you just gonna sit there and bleed," forever rings hysterical in my mind.  With a buildup of tension between a sickly "Doc" Holiday and Johnny Ringo (portrayed by the great Michael Biehn) leading up to probably the single most known shootout in American history, why would you want to touch this one?  The only thing I can think of is someone would incorporate aliens into the mix and have the Earp's and Clanton's team up to eradicate the alien presence, therefore demonstrating togetherness in the face of adversity.  In the end, "Doc" could go and play some Frédérich "F-ing" Chopin.

A Letter to the Dedicated: Just a Thought

    So, let me begin by informing the reader that I am no qualifying expert on any subject matter, however I do know things that I enjoy.  I think in some instances I will hit a nerve with some of you.  There will be those of you who will claim that I am nothing more than a bandwagon jumper in the recent wave of comic book to movie adaptations.  I do believe, on the other hand, that the rest will see eye to eye with me. Whichever side you may fall on, I hope you will at least enjoy this as a decent read.

    Fan-boys/girls, you are appreciated for having a passion about these story lines.  Some of you have followed these stories; The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, X-Men; which such zeal that you know it all too well.  That, I must state, is your downfall. You see, you go into a movie based off of a comic book you have been a fan of for a long time and your expectations are so high, that YOU yourself set the bar to an unreachable level.  There is never a time, that I can recall, where a script writer, director, producer, and the actors lived up to how well crafted a book is.  Considering the cost of movies, amongst other factors, you will never catch the atmosphere that words can express.  I truly believe one who did very well in capturing the essence of a book series was, obviously, Peter Jackson (and I'm not referring to the movie about the giant ape).  He did a great job with LOTR, and yet, I read people bashing even that.  Most talked about how he left this out and that out.  You know, directors have it hard enough trying to keep the actors in character, finishing within budget, and making sure that they are following laws and guidelines related to movie making without hearing you, the fan, talk down about their interpretation of a certain story to the big screen.

    I am a fan of reading.  When I see a movie coming out by one of my favorite authors, I do have a tendency to cringe, due to the question of, "What is going to end up on the editing room floor?"  What I have learned is to not worry about how it's going to be done.  I open my mind to the possibilities that a certain director may be able to bring to the table.  Their interpretation of whatever writing they are bringing to a visual state is up in the air, kind of a certain sense of mystery that keeps me intrigued.  I don't get all excited and worked up, because in the end, that is where "let down" comes from.  Remember that expectations are pending disappointments.

    I have seen all the Marvel movies to date.  I grew up a huge fan of Spider-Man and later loved the Hulk.  So seeing the interpretations of these two childhood heroes on the big screen had two effects: One character I really enjoyed the first and second movie , while the other was a disappointment at first, but the sequel had a redeeming factor in it, if that makes sense to you.  My point is they have had some ups and downs in their interpretations.  That is to be expected because just like with the rest of us, we will never reach a status of greatness without falling a few times on the road.  

    I am not disappointed in anything that lead up to "The Avengers" movie.  Some, yes, I did enjoy more than others, but I think overall Marvel is doing a good job.  Phase Two begins next May with Robert Downey, Jr reprising his role as Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, in the 3rd film of that series.  RJD,J is a phenom when it comes to acting and they picked him spot on.  Thor: The Dark World hits theaters next November and, once again, this is one I am looking forward to, especially with the announcement of Christopher Eccleston being cast as Malekith.  Captain America: The Winter Soldier will be an early 2014 release, and not much details are out about it, so we'll see there.  The next on the list, and this is one I am really looking forward to because it is getting the most "hate" from the community, is Guardians of the Galaxy, which I believe has been slated for August 14, 2014.  The haters are worried about the comedy tag it may have been given.  Seriously, in this day and age, when I go to the movies and there is a character that is a raccoon with an arsenal equivalent of most earthly military's, and a giant talking tree,  I had better laugh.  Trying to make something with characters like that too serious could really hurt your sales, especially with people not familiar with it.  I know that's a tough pill to swallow, because you are the dedicated.  No matter how much you cry about it, and I'm talking figuratively here (but maybe literally in some of your cases), that will not change the minds of the production staff.  You see, Marvel has made so much money, and they have gained new fans along the way, that you as a fan could end up being collateral damage.  So I say sit back and see where they take us, because after GotG in August '14, we'll see The Avengers 2 in 2015.  If you're not happy after these transpire on the big screen, well, you should be done with college by this point and can start showing those "hacks" in Hollywood how it should be done.